Ye Cove

I don't mean personal answering machines. I mean those automated ones when you ring up a company and instead of talking to a real person, you get all the "press 1, press 2" crap and the long tedious process of getting what you want. The inventor of those should be shot. For eg, if I wanted to ring up my local cinema to find out what movies are on:




"Hello and welcome to Empire Cinemas. Please listen to the following options and then make your selection by pressing your telephone keypad.

Press 1 if you understand.
Press 2 if you need further clarification.


(#1)


You have selected understand. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



(#1)


Please select the day of screening.


Press 1 for screening times for Monday.
Press 2 for screening times for Tuesday,
Press 3 for screening times for Wednesday
Press 4 for screening times for Thursday
Press 5 for screening times for Friday
Press 6 for screening times for Saturday
Press 7 for screening times for Sunday


(#5)


You have selected Friday. Is that correct?

Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.


(#1)


Please select the screening time.


Press 1 for morning.
Press 2 for afternoon.
Press 3 for evening.


(#3)


You have selected screening times for Friday evening. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



(#1)



Select what type of film you want to watch.

Press 1 for action.
Press 2 for Westerns.
Press 3 for romance.
Press 4 for horror.
Press 5 for comedy.
Press 6 for drama.
Press 7 for WW2 movies.
Press 8 for science fiction.
Press 9 for other.



(#5)


You have selected comedy. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



(#1)



Select the type of comedy film you wish to view.


Press 1 for romantic comedy.
Press 2 for slapstic comedy.
Press 3 for black comedy.
Press 4 for teen comedy.
Press 5 for other comedy.


(#4)


You have selected teen comedy. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



(#1)


Please select running time of comedy film.


Press 1 for less than 90mins.
Press 2 for more than 90 mins but less than 2hrs.
Press 3 for more than 2 hrs.
Press 4 for any running time length.



(#4)


You have selected any running length time. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



(#1)


Please select what refreshments you wish to purchase.


Press 1 for popcorn.
Press 2 for soft drink.
Press 3 for chocolates.
Press 4 for ice cream.
Press 5 for chips.



(#1)


You have selected popcorn. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



(#1)



Select what size popcorn you will want.


Press 1 for small.
Press 2 for medium.
Press 3 for large.



(#3)



You have selected large popcorn. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



Will you require any other refreshments?


Press 1 for yes.
Press 2 for no.



(#1)


You have selected yes for other types of refreshments. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



(#1)




Select what type of other refreshments you will require.


Press 1 for soft drinks.
Press 2 for chocolates.
Press 3 for ice cream.
Press 4 for chips.


(#1)



You have selected soft drinks. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



Select the type of drink you want.


Press 1 for small.
Press 2 for medium
Press 3 for large.



(#3)


You have selected large drink. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



(#1)



Please select the type of soft drink you want.


Press 1 for Coke.
Press 2 for Sprite.
Press 3 for lemon squash.
Press 4 for Fanta.


(#1)



You have selected Coke. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



(#1)



Now, please confirm you selection. You want a teen comedy on Friday evening of any running length time with a large popcorn and large Coke. Is that correct?


Press 1 for correct.
Press 2 for incorrect.



(#1)




I'm sorry, there are no comedy movies for Friday evening. Please listen to the following options and select one by pressing on your telephone keypad.


Hello and welcome to Empire Cinemas......................."





Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Epic rant.

And yeah, I know what you mean. I have to go through that BS on my cell phone, whenever I put minutes onto it or anything (I'm on a pay as you go dealy). There's been times where I've had to let it play through and then repeat what it was saying, because I'm just sitting there like "I didn't hear all the fuckin options, come on!"

it's worse when they make you say your option, then they tell you they "didn't get that" then list all the options again