Ye Cove

As it sounds like, just post funny/insightful things youve red or heard. some of my favorites are as follows:

"Dude, I loved your bands cover of straightedge revenge. I would've sang along but I was at the back buying beers."

"Fuck this place up, positive aggression, if someone falls pick them up. Positive aggression. And more stage dives."
- Scott Vogel

"Do not speak to me of naval tradition. It is nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash." - Sir Winston Churchill

"They say that evil prevails when good men fail to act. What they should say...is evil prevails." - Nicholas Cage, from Lord of War

"Let the hate flow through you!" - Emperor Palpatine

"Eeeaaaattt themmm!" - The Butt and myself

"The key to joy... is disobedience." - Aleister Crowley

The Apostasy FTW.

"I mostly ignored it, but my friend said it was like getting his ear canal raped by a man wearing a sandpaper condom. Not in those exact words, obviously."
"The day I pay $69 for an expansion pack is the day I swallow barbed wire, pull the end out my ass, and floss myself to death."
"There's more to it than just killing dudes, of course. There's a challenge system where you can earn cards to kill dudes better, there's a soul collection system that gives you a new and interesting way to kill dudes... Okay, maybe it is just killing tons of dudes!"
"There's a plot, of course, but if five minutes pass without a dude and a murder, you're playing it wrong!"

Yahtzee Crowshaw is a GOD.

From the movie, "Talladega Nights":


"Well, let me quote you from the late Colonel Sanders who said, "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" ".


Here's one of my all time funny quotes from "The Simpsons". Homer, Moe and Apu were showing the new house that the whole town had built for Ned Flanders, after it was destroyed. They all walk past this one particular room.

(Apu speaking):

"This is the room with electricity. But it has too much electricity. So, I don't know, you might want to wear a hat".

Hahaha. Another Simpson's one that cracked me up big time. They were taking off the movie, "I, robot", and all these robots, abandoned in the forest, ask Bart, "What's it like to have feelings?" And Bart says:

"I'm a human, not a girl". Hahaha.


And my all time favourite funny Simpsons quote, that had me laughing for days after I first heard it. Homer spent a weekend with what he thought was his real father, who was this wealthy, eccentric English aristocrat. Homer excitedly tells his family how fabulous and eccentric and wealthy his father is:


(Homer speaking)


"Oh Marge, he's got everything, and he speaks like this, (speaking in upper class English accent-imitating his father)

Homer, please do that in the loo".

"You know when you close your eyes and wish for something with all your might? God is the guy who ignores you." - The Island (the remake). It's more or less of a paraphrase.

(See my sig)

"Abra hadabra!" - Aleister Crowley...

"Time Stop, my turn?" - Me...

"If a tomato isn't a vegetable, then why is there one on Vegetales?" - My friend...

No.

"That reminds me of something my grandfather used to say. He'd say, 'I'm going upstairs to fuck your grandmother!' Well, he was never one to bullshit an 8-year old." - George Carlin

Imagine Leonidus wearing steel-toed boots, and instead of Van-Damming someone down a well, imagine him kicking a steel door closed with a 14-year-olds arm in it with all his might and that's pretty much what I did on Thursday. Needless to say, the kid's arm is in a cast. Surprisingly, I still have a job, despite it happening on the job site and the kid being the boss's grandson. That'll teach that shit not to piss me off.

VIDEO GAMES COME FROM JAPAN -This man

"Valve has done a great job making us empathize with all the NPCs so bringing in a new one at this late stage is like coming home from school to find a walrus sitting at the dinner table and you're the only one that seems to notice."

and who could forget the classic
"STONKING GREAT TITS!!!"

Yahtzee Crowshaw IS GOD.